Not content to let the likes of Coolio and 2 Chainz run the rapper cookbook game, Ja Rule has now thrown his hat into the thing we just called a “surf-and-turf war” before gazing despondently out the window, wondering whether it’s too late to become an architect. Mr. Rule—who recently served two years in prison for tax evasion, as well as possession of guns and marijuana—says he passed his sentence perfecting the art of microwave cookery. And now he wants to share all the things he’s learned, besides always paying your taxes and not carrying guns and drugs around when you’re a famous rapper.
Ja Rule (real name Yes Rule) made the announcement during an appearance on SiriusXM’s “Food Talk” where Guy Fieri and Bobby Flay were also guests and thus lured Rule with their own obnoxious barking, like wolves finding each other in the wilderness. There Rule told host Geoffrey Zakarian that he’d learned to “cook anything and everything in a microwave” rather than eat the prison food, including recipes for “lasagna and cheesecake”—which, if his cookbook becomes a reality, you could soon learn how to make yourself. “This is delicious. It must have taken you forever!” guests at your next dinner party will exclaim. “No, silly. That’s a microwaved prison lasagna, from the man who wrote ‘Holla Holla,’” you’ll reply smugly, knowing you’ve finally made it into high society.