Jamie Foxx creating horror anthology series about the things Jamie Foxx finds horrifying

Answering television’s need for a show that can plumb the umbral abyss lurking inside everyone, Syfy has commissioned a new horror anthology from Jamie Foxx—a man who knows blackness in all senses of the word, none a laughing matter. Foxx will executive produce, direct, and also write the series’ promised five episodes of “creepy morality tales with themes such as envy, jealousy, and superficiality,” all of these among the most terrifying things imaginable by celebrities who are tired of being criticized. And naturally, who better than Jamie Foxx to explore the evils of man? Long has he struggled with the shadowy alter ego that is his “ugly woman;” many shameful hours has he spent defying the natural order by breakin’ all the rules. Also, in the movie Ray, he crawled inside Ray Charles' cadaver and worked it like a puppet. And so: “Get ready to lose it when some special friends and I bring the scares this October, and who knows… maybe I’ll make a guest appearance or two along the way!” Foxx threatened ominously, in a statement scrawled in the blood of a superficial person who was just jealous.