Jamie Foxx's Eyes To Freeze Like That

Jamie Foxx's Eyes To Freeze Like That

Jamie Foxx is a sensitive artist. Sometimes when he's acting in a drama, he feels so hard he dislocates his heart and he has to go to the emergency room so a doctor can push his heart out from behind his knee, up his leg, across his torso, and pop it back into place. Putting on schizo-face in The Soloist almost killed him. No really. He said basically that once.

Considering the obvious mortal dangers of dramatic acting, Jamie Foxx has decided to go back to comedic acting—more specifically, cross-eyed drag caricature comedic acting. See, back in June Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence made a trailer for a fake movie called Skank Robbers, starring their drag alter-egos: Wanda and Sheneneh. Now, because Nostradamus prophesized that all joke movie trailers would become real movies right before the end of days, Skank Robbers is going to be a real movie.

From Hollywood.com:

So while everybody else is running over there trying to get that [serious drama] thing, I’m gonna go over and get these jokes now — even down to Shenehneh and Wanda, which is the Wanda character from In Living Color and Martin [Lawrence], who plays Shenehneh. We’re gonna do a movie together and just really, really knock a hole in the game’s head right now with that type of big, broad comedy."

Has Jamie Foxx seen the game's head lately? Because the game's head is constructed entirely out of of big, broad comedies like Paul Blart Mall Cop and Madea Goes To Jail. You can't knock a hole in the big, broad comedy game by throwing another big broad comedy at it. That's like trying to make the color red less red by adding more red.

We shot the trailer a while back to see what people would say because, you know, people might think this is corny, you know what I’m saying? And people went nuts. I’m like, ‘Yo!’ So we went to Screen Gems and Clint Culpepper, who is a friend of Martin’s, and we set it up. Now we’re getting ready to shoot that thing and get it on out.

Oh, it's corny. It's a spoof trailer starring Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx dressed in drag as characters that were popular 15 years ago. So why bother shooting anything else? Just add a couple of montages of Sheneneh from Martin and Wanda from in Living Color to the trailer, and maybe a Fire Marshall Bill cameo at the end. Boom. You're done. Skank Robbers (tagline: "They don't rob skanks…they are skanks who rob") is ready to go:

Jamie Foxx should be careful: his eyes could get stuck like that. Also, Jerry Lewis was a cross-eyed actor, and look what happened to him.

 
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