American strongman Donald Trump has strong, manly sons, as evidenced by Donald Trump Jr.’s recent photo shoot in the woods, Eric Trump’s steadfast insistence upon continuing to look like a shitty vampire, and now son-in-law Jared Kushner’s erection of a giant erection in Manhattan. Yes, as the Wall Street Journal reports, the Kushner family has long planned to convert the family office into a massive 1,400-foot skyscraper full of hotel rooms and shopping and other shit for the super-rich. However, since the accidental election of Kushner’s father-in-law to the presidency, those plans could create a host of possible conflicts of interest, all of which are important and worth reading about but also, holy shit, look at this thing.
Designed by acclaimed architect Zaha Hadid, it is—well, it’s a big, shiny dick.
While many skyscrapers are phallic, few seem so blatantly compensatory in nature, a fact which has been noted by many cultural critics.
There’s something evil about the whole thing, which a crafty bit of photo editing revealed.
Adding to its ominousness is the fact that it is housed at 666 Fifth Ave., though the Kushners plan to change the address upon reconstruction to 660, presumably to avoid the cost of having to clean pig’s blood from the penthouse every weekend.
Others saw things slightly less sinister:
May it stand tall and proud forever, a true symbol of Trumpian strength:
Construction on the building could take until 2025, meaning that it will be completed just in time for the Kushners to hide in it as the pressures of global warming and increasing economic inequality unravel the fabric of society and turn us all into roving bands of cannibalistic hunter-gatherers. Even then, we’ll still probably make dick jokes about the tower, because look at that fucking thing.