Jeff Goldblum ascends to "graven image" status
Finally, a place of worship that everyone can agree on. After being made a god (of sorts) in the Marvel universe, Jeff Goldblum has officially reached pure deification status here on Earth. A 25-foot statue of the actor has been erected on London’s south bank, just next to the Tower Bridge. As the BBC reports, it’s a temporary installation constructed to honor the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park, a film from which Goldblum was nearly written out.
If you’re wondering why the statue so prominently features Goldblum’s rosy nipple, it’s because the monument serves as a recreation of the actor’s iconic pose from Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure. It’s a pose that’s resulted in no shortage of sexual awakenings—the likes of which Goldblum has heard plenty about—and, considering its size and visibility, it about to ignite many, many more.
This should be a dream come true for Goldblum fans, who have proven time and again that not only do they want Goldblum, but they want multiple Goldblums, whether that be in his films and interviews or as the soul-soothing voice of your mobile device.
Stay tuned for Goldblum’s inevitable pose next to the statue, probably while holding a kitten or reciting Bill Pullman’s speech from Independence Day or something, which will break the internet once and for all.