Jeff Goldblum's nipple wants you to vote

Jeff Goldblum's nipple wants you to vote
Photo: John Phillips

Today, in “No, we can’t tell where the irony starts or stops now, either” news: Jeff Goldblum’s nipple would like you to vote.

That’s the major message we’re getting from a post that Goldblum (and his nipple) made to Instagram this weekend, anyway, recreating his famous, mostly-shirtless lounging scene from the original Jurassic Park. Said photo was, like Goldblum And Associate’s recent recreation of his “chaos theory” monologue from the same movie (with Sam Neill stepping into the Laura Dern part, while Dern herself cackled from a socially distanced doorway), intended to promote HeadCount’s #GoodToVote initiative, designed to ensure that as many people as possible are ready to vote in the upcoming election in the safest ways available.

The idea for the photo op—which, while significantly less nipple-y than the one from the movie, still has a fair amount of nipple in it—was actually floated in the comments for the earlier video, and then Goldblum (etc.) just sort of did it, because that’s what Jeff Goldblum does: Exist as a sort of weird, affable, jazz-playing genie (who also sometimes says some dumb shit about Woody Allen), who seems entirely ruled by the whims of his own amusement. (But hey: At least those whims are for a pretty good cause this time.) Jeff Goldblum’s nipple, meanwhile, has long been an enthusiastic supporter of democracy, with a long track record of speaking up for proper voting procedures, and against human rights injustices.

Jeff Goldblum’s leather pants, also present at the shoot, could not be reached for comment at this time.

 
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