The cast of inexplicable pop-culture phenomenon Jersey Shore keep doing things, and we keep having to spend time we would otherwise be using to cure cancer to talk about them. With the season finale airing tonight, the pride of the New Jersey Bureau of Tourism appeared on The Early Show and The Wendy Williams Show, where, MTV reports, sinful dwarf Snooki scoffed at rumors she would be starring in a spin-off show called Princess Of Poughkeepsie. Because, you know, that would be degrading. Snooki went on to inform viewers that she will be dressing as "a sexy pickle" for Halloween.
Elsewhere, Jenni "JWOWW" Farley also maintained the hilarious charade that she and her cast members still have a shred of dignity remaining by nixing rumors that she will be posing for Playboy. Not because she has any objection to taking her clothes off, of course; it's just that she has had "a better opportunity" than Hugh Hefner's offer of $400,000, "which everyone will probably see soon". We can't wait!
Finally, Jersey Shore co-creator/executive producer SallyAnn "Emmy Shmemmy" Salsano, in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, promises more of the same in season 3 from the cast she once loaned money for Gatorade and cigarettes. Salsano claims not to understand the controversy over the show, saying, "What's wrong? That's how I was raised. I'm an Italian girl from Long Island whose family worked in sanitation for the City of New York. Both my parents drive Cadillacs. I eat pasta every Sunday." Informative! But not quite as informative as when she uses a colorful metaphor to compare her show to a mass suicide: "If everyone is out there drinking your Kool-Aid, that is awesome," she says. "The minute you have a sip, you are done. Just stay away from your own Kool-Aid." That's just good advice no matter who you are.