America’s favorite conditional statement, Mike “The Situation” Surname-We’re-Not-Looking-Up, will release his very own rap single on iTunes this week, once again posing the eternal question of whether the fleeting pleasure of ironic enjoyment is worth pledging 99 cents toward further encouraging songwriting as “the next step” for reality TV stars. Fortunately for you, TMZ already has a sneak preview of the song: Called “The Situation,” it’s an ode to the theory of how mass media creates a fake, image-obsessed reality to mask the degradation of human life as set forth in Guy Debord’s The Society Of The Spectacle, with assists from DJ Class, The Disco Fries, Fatman “Here We Go Now” Scoop, and the nation’s entire supply of Auto-Tune. There’s not much else to tell you from this brief glimpse, other than it appears that, like so many before him, fame has already taken its toll on The Situation, who can’t understand what the hell you’re looking at, but he’s not doing shit ’til he gets his cash. So it’s sort of like this generation’s version of Bob Seger’s “Turn The Page,” we guess, only with way more talk about boning.