Judi Dench says her Cats character looked like she had "five foxes fucking on [her] back"

At a grand 85 years of age, Dame Judi Dench is the oldest person to grace the cover of Vogue magazine—and for good reason. The woman is a legend; an incredible actor with a generous spirit and just a total G.D. delight, as evidenced thoroughly by her interview with the magazine, conducted at her home in early March. In it, Dench discusses many things: Her age, her dear friend Maggie Smith, and her fondness for trees. On the subject of her quarantine, Dench is optimistic: “To see the trees coming into blossom and daffodils in the garden, they certainly give you hope, and we need a lot of that at the moment.” But she also acknowledges her privileged view: “I am very aware of people who may not have a garden and are not as fortunate to be able to sit outside in the sunshine.”

It’s a rather cozy interview dotted with moments of crackling humor, like when Dench is asked to share something she enjoys about being 85 years old:

“Nothing,” she barks, deadly serious. Nothing? “I don’t like it at all. I don’t think about it. I don’t want to think about it. They say age is an attitude…” she trails off, then snaps, “it’s horrible.”

Oh, but you’re here for the fresh Cats content, of course. Yes, that mystifying, CGI-saturated musical nightmare does come up, and it when it does, Dench—who still hasn’t seen the finished product, good on her—offers the most hilarious reaction to her character’s appearance:

Dench visibly prickles at its mention. “The cloak I was made to wear!” she cries. “Like five foxes f**king on my back.” Filmed in green screen, and with her eyesight impaired, Dench has yet to see the film in full but was far from pleased at how her Old Deuteronomy turned out looking in the pictures she’s seen. She’d hoped she would look rather elegant. Instead: “A battered, mangy old cat,” she says, appalled. “A great big orange bruiser. What’s that about?”

We’re fairly certain it’s an actual crime in England to offend Judi Dench like this.