Just this once, we’re suggesting you watch a Newsmax clip

By Allison Shoemaker  |  February 3, 2021 | 11:02pm
Aux Features Newsmax
Just this once, we’re suggesting you watch a Newsmax clip
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Behold, TV journalism at its finest:

Don’t watch Newsmax. Except this once. And we’re going to consider this a suggestion for the occasion, not the clip, because there are a couple other clips worth your time. But that’s the gem. The others are good, but that one? That’s perfect. Sublime. No notes. Can’t wait to read all your jokes about The Matrix in the comments.

It doesn’t top the performance art above, but here’s a trio of meltdowns of, from left to right, increasing intensity. All captured with state-of-the-art shitty sound.

But lest you start to believe that there’s some sort of a sea change happening at the news outlet presumably located within the cozy confines of an abandoned Payless Shoes, here’s another surreal clip, this time of a guy trying to keep his job:

And sure enough, they brought back the ranting pillow dude, just to share some nice coupon codes. Like you do, in the news business.

Woodward and Bernstein, eat your hearts out.

Now we’ll go back to only acknowledging these buttholes when they’re the subject of an SNL sketch.

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