Much as Justin Bieber’s artistic growth can no longer be contained by symbolic eggshells or speed limits, so too can his weed no longer be packed into regular buses, like the sort of crude, mobile, crushed beer can seating up to 25 that amateurs use to smoke. According to a report on NBC News, Bieber now prefers to tamp his marijuana into the more accommodating bowl of an airplane, like the one he and his friends recently chartered from Canada to the Super Bowl, hoping to just chillax after a long week of being charged with drunk driving and criminal assault by firing up a nice, fat jet.
Unfortunately, federal aviation regulations refused to be as chill, with customs officials in New Jersey detaining the jet for the “strong odor of pot” emanating from it. However, they declined to press any charges after a search turned up no evidence of marijuana—which makes sense. As dedicated smokers know, you have to be really diligent about cleaning your pot-plane, else it gets all clogged up with ash and resin. Then no one is able to get a clean hit or cross-country flight.
Nevertheless, the official report obtained by NBC says there was so much marijuana smoking going on that the flight’s captain repeatedly issued warnings to knock it off to Bieber and his entourage—a group that included Bieber’s father, Jeremy Bieber, who subscribes to the cool-dad philosophy that it’s always better to know where your kid is partying, so you can take advantage of it. The captain also demanded that Bieber’s crew “stop their harassing behavior toward the flight attendant,” with the attendant saying they were “extremely abusive verbally.” Though, in Bieber’s defense, these were people with jobs and genuine human concerns, which are the last things you want to think about while you’re trying to get high in your aerobong.
According to the report, the pilots were also “forced to wear their oxygen masks” to avoid inhaling the smoke, worried they might then become intoxicated or fail any subsequent drug test, which could have cost them their licenses. Still, they likely could have slipped by on the technicality that their infraction involved Justin Bieber, who is automatically exempt from any consequences, on account of artistry.
Meanwhile, it seems unlikely that this particular aviation dealer will hook Bieber up with another plane, leaving him to seek a more friendly form of pot-based air transport.