Amid a region that has long been marked by instability, roiling upsets, and suffering, KFC has found the perfect place to deploy its Double Down Dog, its latest arm of a worldwide effort to replace all things with fried chicken—including, eventually, arms. That plot thickened and congealed over the fall, when KFC took its now-somehow-referred-to-as-“traditional” Double Down sandwich and added a bacon cheeseburger inside it. Now the race has accelerated considerably by KFC nestling a hot dog deep within a greasy, waiting “bun,” in a sentence that would be more appetizing were it actually a sexual euphemism.
Instead, the only obfuscating language here is that the “bun” is really a folded-up slab of fried chicken, wrapped around a tube of intestinal meat cheerfully referred to as a “hot dog,” and slathered in a neon-yellow slurry that is satirically referred to as “cheese.” Together they form the Double Down Dog, so named after the yoga position that involves putting your palms on the ground, then slowly distending your colon.
While the Double Down Dog seems it like might be just a joke, possibly created as a morbid political satire of the many American atrocities committed on Filipino soil, it’s apparently a real thing you can eat. Or, it actually exists, anyway—though currently it’s only available in around a dozen KFC locations in the Philippines, and even then, only 50 of them will be sold per restaurant, presumably to keep Imelda Marcos from hoarding them all and establishing a new and even more terrible dynasty.
As of today, its first in the wild, the Double Down Dog is already sold out. Nevertheless, some have been captured on social media—such as in this photo, revealing a slimy meat-phallus inserted deep into a scabby chicken crevice. This photo has already been optioned by David Cronenberg.
It’s unknown just how long the KFC Double Down Dog will last, but it’s already being called the most brutal occupation ever to take place in the Philippines.
[via Business Insider]