KFC’s unholy fried chicken-pizza hybrid The Chizza is spreading
Possibly fearing that their Yum! Brands colleagues over at Taco Bell are breathing down their grease-stained necks with the Naked Chicken Chalupa, the fried chicken alchemists at KFC have pushed forward their research in the field of bread-to-chicken replacement. Following in the footsteps of the KFC Double Down, the chain has expanded the availability of the KFC Chizza—which is a personal-sided pizza in which the crust has been replaced with a flattened piece of fried chicken, obviously—into Singapore, bringing it closer and closer to the mouths of the millions of Americans it will inevitably destroy.
The Chizza has been making its way through Asian fast food markets for a few years now, initially debuting in the Philippines back in 2015, before spreading to India later that year. Now it’s in Singapore, oozing like the “KFC Cheese Sauce” that rests atop its gooey throne. To celebrate this latest assimilation, KFC released a video via its Twitter, detailing the anatomy of a Chizza:
Starting with pizza sauce slathered on KFC fried chicken, there’s initially not much to distinguish the Chizza from a chicken Parmesan. (Even if we’re kind of amazed that the company didn’t just use mashed potatoes as the sauce.) Things get worse once the chicken ham arrives, though, pineapple chunks in tow. (Hawaiian seems to be the default Chizza flavor, although there are images available of pepperoni versions, as well.) Finally, the whole thing is slathered in mozzarella and, again, “KFC Cheese Sauce,” before being melted together by surly teens.
KFC has declined to mention when the Chizza might wash over the American market on a wave of bad decisions; courtesy would dictate that the company install some kind of countdown clock, to allow the weird fast food junkie demographic time to get their affairs properly in order. Meanwhile, if you’re living in Singapore: Dig in!