Kids Say The Darndest Things To Evil Spirits

Kids Say The Darndest Things To Evil Spirits

After Damien, and the girl from Poltergeist, and young Linda Blair, and Haley Joel Osment, and Tomås the bag-head boy in The Orphanage, there comes a point when we as a society have to ask ourselves where we went wrong. Why do our movie-children insist on being conduits for evil? As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a movie-child, so we can't just blame the movie-parents. No, when a movie-child decides to sit cross-legged on their bedroom floor and talk to an evil ghost that lives in a mirror, it reflects (see what I did there?) badly on all of us. We have to evaluate our movie-schools and our movie-after-school programs, our movie-community centers and our movie-society. How could so many movie-children fall through the cracks like this and into the worst kind of horror movie cliché?

We need to reach out to our movie-children, but also to discipline them. Make sure they know that, no, demon spirits don't just want to play, so just leave them alone. Also, if you insist on being a lightning rod for evil like that, you're going to get stuck that way. Fine. Do what you want. But you're acting like a really, really boring cliché right now, and just for that we are not going to get ice cream. This kind of befriending-bad-spirits-trapped-in-mirrors behavior does not deserve a treat. You hear me, young man?

Ugh. Well, now we can officially add mirrors, dark water, Keifer Sutherland, and ghost-happy kids to the Things That Were At One Point Creepy, But Are Now Just Tiresome list.

 
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