Ladies and gentlemen: Robert De Niro, bagel salesman
Look, we’re not here to sniff at major celebrities doing commercials. Hell, we just lauded Tommy Lee Jones for his insane, decade-long commitment to shilling Japanese canned coffee. We’re also aware that Robert De Niro is perfectly content starring in low-dignity drek, and that that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have another great performance in him. Still, a tiny part of us withers inside when we hear the man who played Travis Bickle say “you gotta break some breads” to make it the bagel business.
De Niro, you see, is the star of a bizarre new commercial from Warburtons, a U.K. baking company that somehow convinced the Oscar winner to shill for GoodBagels, which, yes, is a reference to Goodfellas, because gangsters + ? = bagels. Here, De Niro mugs his way through a number of the film’s set pieces, from a nighttime burial to a quick-cut introduction to his “boys”—Benny Slice, Jimmy Butterfingers, and (sigh) Tony Two-Bagels. “New Warburton’s bagels,” he says in closing. “Don’t fuggedaboutem.” It’s the Dunkaccino ad, only not a parody.
Oh, he’s also playing himself? He’s introduced as Robert De Niro, but he’s also a tough-talking gangster who, by commercial’s end, duct tapes a nice man’s mouth shut before presumably murdering him.
Anyways, The Irishman comes out later this year.