When it was first revealed that Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac would cover "the erotic life of a woman from the age of zero to the age of 50," it naturally sparked questions such as, "But will this woman be abused at some point?" and "Does that 'age zero' thing mean we're going to see lots of footage of sperm entering an egg and stuff?" and "How are they going to fit all those years of erotic living into a single movie?" The answers to those questions so far are yes, obviously, yet to be determined (But probable, right?), and they're not, as The Playlist picks up a Screen Daily interview with producer Peter Jensen wherein he says Nymphomaniac will actually be two films, shot and edited concurrently—the first focusing on the childhood and adolescence of Charlotte Gainsbourg's character, and the second covering her adulthood. Dividing them up like this will give more dramatic weight to each of those promised "eight episodes," as well as use the first film to catch potential sexual predators, maybe.
That it's a two-parter is, of course, on top of the previously reported fact that Nymphomaniac will also come in both softcore and hardcore flavors, with Jensen saying of the latter strategy, "We will probably blur the central points of the human body for the release worldwide but we will probably make one unblurred that will be for screening maybe in Cannes." And while learning that they will clean up the film for mass consumption by simply pixelating all the naughty dangling bits is certainly interesting, even more daring is that naughty dangling bit about Cannes—a place we were pretty sure Lars Von Trier isn't welcome anymore, after Cannes said exactly that. But of course, Nymphomaniac could still technically be accepted under production company Zentropa despite, as Jensen puts it, Von Trier's "strange quotes from last year," based on its "pretty big names" and intriguing premise. And really, like anyone at Cannes is going to pass up the opportunity to liven up their festival day by watching hardcore pornography.