Now that that whole Walking Dead thing is settled, and The Force Awakens has stooped to premiering new clips that are just extensions of old clips lest it pry open the mystery box, the internet needs something to occupy itself so it doesn’t have to face its own mortality. Speaking of which: HBO released the first teaser poster for Game Of Thrones season six today, and—
[Okay, guys, you know the drill. Go watch season five of Game Of Thrones already. It’s out on Blu-ray, so none of that “all my friends are poor, no one I know has an HBO Go password” crap. Five months is a long time to be mad about people spoiling something.]
—and it features maybe-deceased good guy Jon Snow with blood all over his pretty, brooding face. The image is deliberately vague, so here are a few possibilities:
1) Jon Snow is dead, and this is his corpse propped up and put on display so his former brothers in the Night’s Watch can spit on him and throw rocks at him. Life is harsh on Game Of Thrones.
2) Jon Snow is alive, and those are actually tears of blood from the painful side effects of the blood magic that brought him back. (Melisandre did show up at an awfully convenient time.) Life is harsh on Game Of Thrones.
3) Jon Snow is alive, and a pigeon flew right into his face, and now he has pigeon blood in his eye. Life is harsh on Game Of Thrones.
Definitely that last one, right?
Game Of Thrones returns to HBO next April.