Lily Allen working on Bridget Jones musical, which will never be as good as the Conan: The Barbarian musical

Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones’s Diary has already spawned a literary sequel, two major motion pictures (so far), and the illusion that Renee Zellweger can open a movie—why not an overblown musical? According to Deadline, Lily Allen has been tapped to write some songs for the Bridget Jones stage show set to debut in London’s West End sometime next year (to be followed by a Broadway run, no doubt, should it prove successful). Which seems like a good choice, given Bridget Jones is a character torn between hopeless self-flagellation and ripping mercilessly on any man who dares to pursue her, and Allen writes a mean “you’ve got a tiny dick” song.

But you know, frankly, the fact that Bridget Jones’s Diary is getting a West End run while Conan The Barbarian: The Musical languishes on YouTube is an outrage. Fuck the lamentations of the women; this is what we really want to see. [HT to PopWatch]