Lindsay Lohan, star of celebrated films Herbie: Fully Loaded, Scary Movie 5, and The Canyons, has spent too long giving her money to lawyers. She’s had to pay them for everything, from defending her after driving under the influence to representing her on theft charges and parole violations. Now, through a new sponsorship with the very directly named Lawyer.com, the shoe is on the other foot. At long last, the legal fees are moving in the other direction.
A video announcing the partnership between Lohan and the legal database sees the actress shift her public advocacy efforts from beloved public figures like President Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein to another culturally cherished group: lawyers.
The Lawyer.com website is festooned with images of its new spokesperson, including descriptions of her role, which extends beyond putting her face all over the project. We discover that Lohan will “also act as our marketing and brand advisor,” which summons a really strong mental image of her sitting around a conference table with a bunch of stuffed shirts to “[meet] and [brainstorm] with Lawyer.com management on new strategies to raise Lawyer.com’s awareness.” In case you’re concerned that only site management will benefit from all of this, rest assured that we’re set to enjoy the end result: “compelling content” that includes “fun videos and commentaries.”
By far the best result of the sponsorship thus far is the worryingly cheeky videos produced by Lohan and pals. The announcement clip is full of lighthearted bits, like the actor chuckling over how her first contact with the company scared her “because I thought I was in trouble” and pointing out how it can help with problems like “getting a DUI,” which Lohan follows with a deeply funny joke: “Let’s not pretend like I didn’t get one,” she says, then, brow furrowed, “ … or two or three … or … some others.” It’s true what they say: Drunk driving is truly a comedy goldmine!
There are other videos, too, like this down-to-earth blooper reel:
Perhaps the first result of Lohan and Lawyer.com management’s brainstorming is the following clip, a joyful compilation of “team building” scenes showing the celebrity and her new buds traveling to the UAE to race dune buggies. That’s some of the most “compelling content” you can get for free, right there.
Strap in, friends. As Lawyer.com promises, we have an entire “12 month engagement” to enjoy a welcome reminder that, with enough money and cultural cachet, we, too, can avoid fully paying the public debt for our crimes.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]