I'm not especially interested in Devendra Banhart. And I'm not especially interested in Lindsay Lohan, either. But a lengthy conversation between the two of them is a celebrity weirdo collision that demands rubbernecking.
Which is why I'm so glad that Interview magazine exists.
Their April issue has an interview with Banhart, conducted by Lohan in the lobby of the Mercer Hotel. I don't know how much editing was done on the raw transcript, but both of them come off as perfect triangles of dumb, odd, and horny.
The article isn't online yet, but here are a few highlights: Lindsay Lohan: Well, people are interested in you and want to know your likes and everything. Devendra Banhart: Let's just say that if we want to conclude this before the paparazzi maul Ms. Lindsay Lohan, that her skin is sparkly. It's really a trip. You can't tell from a distance. But if you look closely, every inch of her skin is sparkly. LL: Is it? DB: Yeah. It's amazing folks. LL: I'm shining from within.
Did I mention that Devendra gave Lindsay a mix CD? But that's not the best part. This is: LL: Let's see, what do we want to start with? I came up with some fun pop-up questions. DB: I like the whole "What are you thinking right now?" thing. LL: I like that too. DB:That's fun. Okay, what are you thinking right now? Just whatever pops into your head. LL: I just walked into the Mercer Hotel… DB: An image. It doesn't matter. It could just be a thing. LL: I see you smoking a cigarette? What are you thinking? DB: Red backpack.
Ah, red backpack. The stock answer that is delivered to interviewers time and again. It's so vexing––two words that encompass everything and nothing all at the same time. When someone says "red backpack" it usually means the interview is over. There's just no place to go after that, but Lindsay presses forward. LL: Why red backpack? DB: I don't know. It was just the first thing that popped into my head. LL: Did you see someone walk in with a backpack? DB: I didn't.
Nope. They never do.