Linear time collapses as Jay Leno delivers a new Tonight Show monologue

Putting the truth to the old True Detective line that “Time is a flat circle, covered in old-timey cars,” Jay Leno is once again returning to his Tonight Show throne. Or, rather, his balcony, with Deadline reporting that the former talk show host will be crashing Jimmy Fallon’s monologue during this evening’s program. (Leno will presumably play to his previously demonstrated strengths, hijacking the show to crank out a couple of corny monologue jokes, before handing it back to a waiting Jimmy Fallon.)

Famously, the monologue has always been Leno’s favorite part of the Tonight Show package, allowing the stand-up comedian to deliver jokes, jabs, and the joy of poorly copy-edited headlines to a watching nation. But it’s not just his love of Bill Clinton jokes and dangling modifiers that’s brought the former host back to his long-abandoned kingdom; he’s also on a promotional push—hence his recent appearance on The Muppetsto remind everyone who’s missed him that he can soon be found on CNBC, driving around in an antique truck or the car from The Munsters or something as part of Jay Leno’s Garage.

Of course, crass commercialism isn’t the only thing that might be going on here. It’s also possible that Leno’s return to the Tonight Show stage heralds the end of recorded history, and that time will now begin to flow backwards toward the universe-ending phenomenon known as the Big Crunch. If that’s the case, we can only hold on tightly as the next decade of Leno’s reign ushers us into oblivion, humanity’s final legacy the image of an infinite number of Itos dancing on the head of a chin.

 
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