In his 1998 memoir, All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger, independent filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman says his publisher originally wanted a book on how to succeed in low-budget filmmaking, but "unfortunately, in addition to that sounding a tad bland, I don't think I'm the correct choice of author for that particular topic." Apparently, he's changed his mind, possibly because he realized that fellatio jokes and lively personal stories could solve the blandness problem. Like his movies (Tromeo And Juliet, Class Of Nuke 'Em High, The Toxic Avenger), Kaufman's new book Make Your Own Damn Movie is scattershot, flippant, perverse, and packed with lowest-common-denominator appeals. It's also mildly hilarious, not to mention full of actual useful advice for the would-be indie filmmaker struggling with a lack of experience and a nonexistent budget. For the past 30 years, Kaufman's infamous production company, Troma Pictures, has been pumping out Z-grade exploitation features on little to no money, and Kaufman hands down what he's learned in the process, via essays, anecdotes, and shamelessly raunchy jokes. "Being a filmmaker means striking a balance in your excitement-to-disappointment ratio," he warns, and most of his advice is suitably dire: He makes it abundantly clear that most independent artists face a daunting uphill battle. To arm them appropriately, he offers rambling but example-strewn explanations of how a good director should be a ruthless cheapskate, a Machiavellian exploitation artist, a flexible improviser, and a rabid, unswerving visionary. He also claims that orally gratifying prospective investors helps. Kaufman and his many co-writers–Troma vets who chime in with their opinions and experiences in a variety of areas–return to the sexual-favors theme obsessively, when they aren't taking swipes at each other and arguing over the merits and flaws of digital video. That dichotomy between practicality and absurdism runs throughout the book: Kaufman's advice is delivered with the gleeful, obscene, over-the-top humor that characterizes his films, but also with the eminently practical know-how that got them made. At worst, Make Your Own Damn Movie serves as an irreverent companion to All I Need To Know; it's another semi-memoir, packed with insider perspectives and entertaining Troma production stories. At best, it's a streamlined indie-filmmaker's bible. Would-be directors who follow Kaufman's advice to the letter may end up with their own tasteless Troma movies (he does delve into the best ways to make prop blood, vomit, feces, intestines, and severed limbs), but they'll at least know the difference between a PA and an AD, what to look for in both, and how to get the most out of them for the least money. More importantly, they'll know that at least one amusing lunatic supports their right and their ability to think for themselves.