Look out, world: Taylor Swift is going on tour

Cities of the world, brace yourselves. Make ready the emergency shutdown plans, for internationally renowned pop star and sentient Etsy store Taylor Swift is going on tour.

Swift will be heading out to support the chart-topping and actually pretty great new album 1989. (And when we say chart-topping, we really mean it: The album is set to earn the largest single-week sales since 2002, and may even beat the all-time single-week sales record for a female album currently held by Britney Spears’ Oops!…I Did It Again.) Swift revealed on Good Morning America last week that she was in the early stages of planning a tour, saying, “I am excited about announcing things when I can announce them,” in one of her classic demonstrations of Wittgensteinian linguistic logic puzzles. However, she saved the official announcement for today and an excited tweet, promptly followed by the less-exciting immediate crashing of her website in response to that tweet.

Beginning May 20 in Bossier City, Louisiana, Swift will play a handful of shows in the U.S. before heading to Europe, then return to unite America for the remainder of the summer and fall. She will then pause, giving the world time to recover from such an onslaught of Swiftian intensity, before heading to Australia in December. Vance Joy is opening all the North American shows, and Shawn Mendes will appear at several stops, as well. There is no word yet on whether she will become the Global Welcome Ambassador of every city she stops in, but let’s go ahead and assume that will happen.

Also worth noting: If you were hoping to celebrate by listening to some Taylor Swift on Spotify, you’re out of luck. Time reports that Swift has pulled all of her albums from the streaming site, following an op-ed she wrote for The Wall Street Journal in which she spoke out against free music sharing. (Shake it off, Spotify; you’ve still got her one song from The Hunger Games soundtrack.)

The entire list of tour dates is below. Pre-sale tickets can be purchased by American Express cardholders and subscribers to her email list before the general public, in case you’re chomping at the bit to secure your seat. European ticket pre-sales begin November 4, and American pre-sales on November 7.

Announced dates:

May 20, 2015 – Bossier City, LA – CenturyLink Center

May 22, 2015 – Baton Rouge, LA – LSU Tiger Stadium

May 30, 2015 – Detroit, MI – Ford Field

June 2, 2015 – Louisville, KY – KFC Yum! Center

June 3, 2015 – Cleveland, OH – Quicken Loans Arena

June 6, 2015 – Pittsburgh, PA – Heinz Field

June 8, 2015 – Charlotte, NC – Time Warner Cable Arena

June 9, 2015 – Raleigh, NC – PNC Arena

June 13, 2015 – Philadelphia, PA – Lincoln Financial Field

June 20, 2015 – Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia Germany – Lanxess Arena

June 21, 2015 – Amsterdam, North Holland Netherlands – Ziggo Dome

June 23, 2015 – Glasgow, Scotland United Kingdom – SSE Hydro

June 24, 2015 – Manchester, NW England United Kingdom – Arena

June 27, 2015 – London, England United Kingdom – British Summertime Hyde Park

July 6, 2015 – Ottawa, ON – Canadian Tire Centre

July 7, 2015 – Montreal, QB – Bell Centre

July 11, 2015 – East Rutherford, NJ – MetLife Stadium

July 13, 2015 – Washington, DC – Nationals Park

July 18, 2015 – Chicago, IL – Soldier Field

July 24, 2015 – Foxborough, MA – Gillette Stadium

July 25, 2015 – Foxborough, MA – Gillette Stadium

August 1, 2015 – Vancouver, BC – BC Place Stadium

August 4, 2015 – Edmonton, AB – Rexall Place

August 5, 2015 – Edmonton, AB – Rexall Place

August 8, 2015 – Seattle, WA – CenturyLink Field

August 15, 2015 – Santa Clara, CA – Levi’s Stadium

August 17, 2015 – Glendale, AZ – Gila River Arena

August 18, 2015 – Glendale, AZ – Gila River Arena

August 25, 2015 – Los Angeles, CA – Staples Center

August 26, 2015 – Los Angeles, CA – Staples Center

August 29, 2015 – San Diego, CA – PETCO Park

September 4, 2015 – Salt Lake City, UT – EnergySolutions Arena

September 5, 2015 – Denver, CO – Pepsi Center

September 6, 2015 – Denver, CO – Pepsi Center

September 9, 2015 – Fargo, ND – Fargodome

September 11, 2015 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center

September 12, 2015 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center

September 16, 2015 – Indianapolis, IN – Bankers Life Fieldhouse

September 17, 2015 – Columbus, OH – Nationwide Arena

September 18, 2015 – Columbus, OH – Nationwide Arena

September 21, 2015 – Kansas City, MO – Sprint Center

September 22, 2015 – Kansas City, MO – Sprint Center

September 25, 2015 – Nashville, TN – Bridgestone Arena

September 26, 2015 – Nashville, TN – Bridgestone Arena

October 2, 2015 – Toronto, ON – Rogers Centre

October 3, 2015 – Toronto, ON – Rogers Centre

October 8, 2015 – Des Moines, IA – Wells Fargo Arena

October 9, 2015 – Omaha, NE – CenturyLink Center

October 10, 2015 – Omaha, NE – CenturyLink Center

October 13, 2015 – St. Louis, MO – Scottrade Center

October 14, 2015 – St. Louis, MO – Scottrade Center

October 17, 2015 – Dallas, TX – AT&T Stadium

October 20, 2015 – Lexington, KY – Rupp Arena

October 21, 2015 – Greensboro, NC – Greensboro Coliseum Complex

October 24, 2015 – Atlanta, GA – Georgia Dome

October 27, 2015 – Miami, FL – American Airlines Arena

October 31, 2015 – Tampa, FL – Raymond James Stadium

 
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