The date of our oncoming cultural reckoning with Fuller House and Hallmark Channel star Lori Loughlin may finally be coming ’round at last, as Deadline reports today that a trial date has been set for the actress (and husband Mossimo Giannulli) for their alleged participation in last year’s college bribery scandal. Loughlin will stand trial starting on October 5, where she’ll be asked to answer for charges of doing a bunch of stuff that honestly seemed a lot more important when the world was less on fire, but hey, here we are, so we might as well get this thing done.
Specifically, Loughlin stands accused of making contributions to the University Of Southern California with the express intent of getting her daughter admitted, ostensibly as a member of the school’s crew team—despite the fact that she’s reportedly never even touched a crewing ball. Rather than taking the route favored by fellow accusee Felicity Huffman—i.e., pleading guilty, getting her 14 days of Nice Jail out of the way, and then going home to be Felicity Huffman some more—Houghlin and Giannulli have pleaded non-guilty, arguing that they had no idea that the $500,000 they gave to scheme organizer William Rick Singer was intended to be used as a bribe. The pair are pushing this “Not evil, just profoundly out of touch with reality” narrative even further by accusing federal prosecutors of withholding evidence that purportedly shows that no, they really were that astoundingly naive.
This renewed pushback comes shortly after Hot Pocket heiress—and god bless you, Operation Varsity Blues, for bringing such musical language into our lives—Michelle Janavs was handed a 5-month prison sentence on similar charges. Loughlin and Giannulli face a maximum of 50 years in prison, presumably because the legal justice system really hates the seasons where the show put too much focus on Aunt Becky and those annoying twins. A judge promised that the trial will likely be over by Thanksgiving.