There is a decent B movie buried somewhere deep within Lover Girl. There's probably a decent realistic drama hiding somewhere in there, too. Unfortunately, Lover Girl is neither. Instead, it's a stilted, confused, tedious mess that plays like a middling student project inexplicably graced by a few C-level stars and executive-produced by the increasingly questionable Allison Anders (Gas Food Lodging, Grace Of My Heart). Tara Subkoff (All Over Me, The Last Days Of Disco) stars as a candy-obsessed 16-year-old who runs away to L.A. and attempts to move in with her sister, Kristy Swanson. Swanson wants nothing to do with the wide-eyed teen, who subsequently moves in with Swanson's neighbor, a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold played by Sandra Bernhard, who soon gets Subkoff work as a prostitute. Creepy when it tries to be funny and unintentionally funny when it tries to be serious, Lover Girl often seems as clueless and naive as its protagonist. There are a few moments in which the film tries to be an irreverent comedy, as well as a few characters who seem intended as comedic. The film, however, is so clunky and off that it sometimes feels like a smutty sex comedy that's been drained of sex, nudity, and jokes. It's also ugly and woefully uncinematic, sins that would be forgivable were there any substance to the script. But with dialogue that's alternately pulpy and amateurish, Lover Girl's claustrophobic, dingy texture just contributes to the glaring lack of anything to say, or any interesting way to say it.