Proving themselves to be a bunch of big baby scaredy cats who are afraid of their own shadows, The Wrap reports that a handful of major theater chains, including Regal and Cinemark, are refusing to book Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, thus denying hardcore Paranormal Activity fans—Activians, let’s call them—the closure of seeing the final film in the series in 3D. But it’s not Toby or Tim-Tim or whatever the demon’s name is that frightens these timid multiplex owners. No, they’re scared of a new deal that would shorten the window between the film’s theatrical and VOD release.
You see, for decades theater owners have slumbered peacefully at night, secure in the knowledge that the malevolent force of home video is being kept at bay by distribution agreements (and probably some ritual sacrifice). 90 days is the current industry standard, but AMC and Cineplex Entertainment awakened an ancient evil in July when they signed an deal allowing Paramount to release Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension on VOD a mere 19 days after its theatrical debut. Now, sensing that the veil between the worlds has grown dangerously thin, rival theater owners are addressing the problem like they do all problems: Covering their ears and squeezing their eyes shut until the scary part is over. (Just don’t bring up Netflix, or somebody might pee their pants.)
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is due in (AMC, Cineplex, Landmark, Alamo Drafthouse, and National Amusement) theaters on October 23.