Making Kells wanna: 24 sexual things R. Kelly wants, according to his new mix-tape, The Demo Tape

1. To make the p-u-s-s-y cry (“P.U.S.S.Y. Cry”)

2. To give you a backrub, followed by a trip to the hot tub (“Birthday Sex”)

3. For people not to disrespect his shorty, since he likes her sex (“Disrespect My Shorty”)

4. To hit that big old [ass], even though his girl similarly has a big old [ass] (“Disrespect My Shorty”)

5. To have you scream “It hurts, it hurts!” then have you concede that his lovemaking quenches your thirst, your thirst (“Birthday Sex”)

6. To get him some of that birthday sex (“Birthday Sex”)

7. To turn this club into a bedroom (“Club 2 A Bedroom”)

8. For you not to trip; he owns the club, so you don’t gotta worry ’bout security (“Club 2 A Bedroom”)

9. To get some gratuity, and he don’t mean cash, girl (“Tip The Waiter”)

10. To make it rain like a ticker-tape parade (“Tip The Waiter”)

11. For you not to knock his dick and a half (“Every Girl”)

12. To touch booty like he’s playing it (“Every Girl”)

13. For all y’all to have his baby (“Every Girl”)

14. To have them bitches that are hating on you rubbing on you (“Every Girl”)

15. To eat the coochie of all the girls wearing Gucci (“Every Girl”)

16. For you to listen to his mix-tape, cause it’s Kells, bitches (“Every Girl”)

17. For haters to get fucked with a sandpaper dick (“Best I Ever Had”)

18. To make you say silly shit with his silly dick (“Turning Me On”)

19. To take your sexy ass home and show you how he licks it (“Turning Me On”)

20. To get up in a whole lot of ass (“Turning Me On”)

21. To protect you from a lack of sex (“Supa Dupa Man”)

22. To hit you with super-love so pleasing it’s better than any TV show, better even than HBO, so good he’ll get thumbs-up when he goes low (“Supa Dupa Man”)

23. For you to get on his lap and go-go, since the rearview mirror is saying no po-po (“Makin’ Me Wanna”)

24. To fuck every girl he sees, from the hood to the fucking industry, even the Statue of Liberty (“Every Girl”)