Man's Halloween decorations so good that the cops keep getting called to his house
Steven Novak, an artist from Dallas, can’t stop getting in trouble for being really good at celebrating Halloween. Failing to observe the long-held armistice between the law and people who leave dismembered bodies, bloody limbs, and lakes of blood on their front lawn, local police keep showing up at Novak’s house to investigate him.
The Dallas Observer reports that Novak’s lawn, which is covered in dummies with chainsaws in their backs or safes splattering their heads, has “brought the police to his house multiple times.” He says he was home for one of their visits, finding a bunch of cops “in formation at the door” who “asked me if it was all mine.”
“I asked, ‘You mean that blood and the bodies? Yeah, that’s me,’” he says. Novak told the Observer that the police “thought [the decorations were] cool and that they were only there because they were required to reply to complaints from the sergeant.” Novak posted a selection of images and a short video entitled “How To Summon The Police” to Facebook on Tuesday, showing that, yeah, these cops sure did show up to his murderhouse.
It’s deeply unfair that anyone would complain about Novak, who is immensely dedicated to his self-assigned task of entertaining the neighborhood with grisly murder scenes. He describes “watering the bodies” with fresh blood every morning after it rained and telling a kid that the bloody corpses all over his lawn were the result of people who “ate too many Skittles.” He is obviously a Halloween king, and his neighbors should be a bit more respectful.
“[My plans] were worse on paper,” Novak told the Observer, showing that, no matter what, he won’t negotiate with neighborhood complaint-terrorists. “Next year though!”
Considering how weird this year’s Halloween is, we commend Novak for his commitment to the holiday. Never back down, we say. Keep leaving gruesome shit all over your lawn, no matter what happens.
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