Only Nintendo would be crazy enough—or,
perhaps, obtuse enough—to ship a triple-A title the same week that Grand
Theft Auto IV
hits stores. Some might argue that it's counter-programming foresight, akin to
releasing a romantic comedy the weekend Iron Man arrives in theaters.
Probably closer to the truth: Nintendo hasn't ever really paid attention to
what Rockstar or anyone else does in this business. And Mario Kart Wii stands tall as proof that
the company isn't about to start now.
Like the Smash Bros. series, Mario Kart Wii hearkens back to an era
when videogames made absolutely no effort at making sense. The classic
illogical formula in the Wii version remains the same: Drop a host of Nintendo
characters (some well-known, some terribly obscure) into go-karts, equip them with
jokey weapons like banana peels and turtle shells, then turn them loose.
The bright, shiny visuals—now available in
480p—and the slide-whistle sound effects will make depressives choke on
their Zoloft doses. Plus the game includes motorbikes (a series first), presents
32 tracks (16 new and 16 recycled from previous games), and adds the novelty of
the Wii Wheel peripheral. Yes, the game ships with this landfill-bound bit of
plastic whether you want it or not.
Beyond the game: The game's superb online
interface, featuring an easy-to-navigate world map so you can locate potential
competitors, is by far Nintendo's most accomplished online effort yet.
Worth playing for: The new courses, including
one set inside a shopping mall filled with escalators (look for your Miis to
appear in advertisements throughout the mall), are some of the best tracks in
the series.
Frustration sets in when: Getting nailed with a
Spiny Shell when you're only a few feet from the finish line will, as usual,
result in the invention of several hundred never-before-heard expletives.
Final judgment: Whether all this is enough
to merit a purchase depends almost entirely on how much Nintendo-fanboy blood
courses through your veins.