We already know that the film is going to launch a bunch of poorly rendered CGI sharks into the air of Washington D.C. and down the East Coast, so it‘s really just a matter of which glib and winking celebrity faces are going to make up the new cast. In addition to cameos by Jerry Springer and Bo Derek, Cuban seems like a natural fit for the film, since he already stars in a show called Shark Tank. Yet it’s odd the movie failed to capitalize on his pre-existing ability to play a shark, given his obvious predilection for doing whatever he wants and causing rational people to run the other way whenever they see him.
Ann Coulter as the Vice President makes a bit more sense, what with already being an empty vessel with no actual authority or reason for existing, though again, it seems like a wasted opportunity to not utilize her inborn preference for preying on the weak. Instead, Syfy should cast her as Vice President of Sharks; it would be both a nice bit of typecasting and help ease us into the inevitable transition to talking sharks that this franchise so clearly needs. That way, by the time Sharknado: The Sixth One rolls out, we can dispense with the humans altogether, and just have a bunch of sharks hanging out and gossiping about Tara Reid.
