Mark Wahlberg looking to break Nathan Fillion's heart with starring role in Uncharted: Drake's Fortune opposite Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci

Despite the concerted efforts by fans and Nathan Fillion himself to get the reigning king of the nonchalant smirk a starring role as nonchalant, smirking fortune hunter Nathan Drake in David O. Russell’s Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Mark Wahlberg has confirmed rumors that he has snaked the lead, hoping to reteam with his The Fighter, I Heart Huckabees, and Three Kings director next summer. “The idea that [Russell] has is just insane,” Wahlberg told MTV, displaying his usual acumen for condensing projects to a choice adjective. Wahlberg also confirmed that Russell is writing parts specifically for Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, with Wahlberg even saying that he had talked to Pesci himself while taking him to see a screening of The Fighter, which is a skit we’d like to see. Also, Wahlberg is already calling De Niro “Bob,” so it must be serious. Not movie-date serious, but serious.

Wahlberg added that De Niro would ideally play his father while Pesci would play his uncle, meaning “it’s not going to be the watered-down version for sure”—so lots of F-bombs. As to what the plot would entail, the Showbiz 411 article that initially reported the rumor said that the film would “have something to do with antiquities dealers in New York”—antiquities dealers whom, if it’s keeping with the game, we’re assuming will all be casually murdered by Nathan Drake.