If you woke up today hoping to see that at least a few people might be capable of resisting the sinister, siren call of a house that grows fuller by the day, well: you got it, dude. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have both announced that they won’t be participating in Fuller House, the planned Netflix revival of the classic sitcom about family, friendship, and laxly followed fire codes. The professional perfumiers officially retired from acting back in 2013, focusing instead on their various fashions products and smells. There was some hope that the pair—or even just one! One precious, glittering Olsenoid—could be coaxed into participating in the project after consulting with their celluloid father, Bob Saget. But alas, despite the fact that The Man What Met Your Mother is still in negotiations for his own guest role on the show, it was not to be.
Executive producer Robert L. Boyett released a statement about the twins’ announcement, saying, “Although Ashley and Mary-Kate will not be a part of Fuller House, I know how much Full House has meant to them and they are still very much considered family.” This, despite the fact that the idea of a family whose members didn’t all live in the same house together for decades at a time clearly pained Boyett, and caused him great confusion.
So far, Dave Coulier and John Stamos, who has a producing credit, are both set to guest star on the show, with Saget and co-star Lori Loughlin reportedly still in negotiations. The regular cast will include Candace Cameron-Bure and Jodie Sweetin, reprising their roles as D.J. and Stephanie Tanner, along with Andrea Barber, who played unkillable hate machine Kimmy Gibler on the original show. The trio will live together with Gibbler’s child Ramona and D.J.’s two sons, one of whom is named, cleverly, J.D., because that’s the level of writing you get when you spend 20 years really letting an idea like this one build.