What's the easiest way for a disaffected teenage hacker to come to terms with his new stepfamily? If Masterminds, an assemblage of parts from other movies, is to be believed, familial order can be restored by defeating the evil genius who's taken over an exclusive private school. That plot is lifted from Toy Soldiers, the one-man-trapped-in-a-building-full-of-terrorists element is copped from Die Hard, the daring hacker stealing computer games is from WarGames, the notion that skateboards represent the epitome of coolness is from 1988, the soundtrack is from last year's model of alternative music, and the villain is a starship captain in ham mode. If Patrick Stewart is really in such financial dire straits, it would be far less embarrassing to prevail upon his fans for charity than to appear in any movie that requires him to swim in raw sewage—either literally, as in Masterminds' finale, or metaphorically, as in every other scene. If he's not, then he'd be better off concentrating his energy on developing a one-man show based on the life of Gerard Manley Hopkins, or whatever it is he does in his spare time. Everyone else's time would be best spent far away from Masterminds, unless seeing one-time Academy Award nominee Brenda Fricker getting knocked around by an all-terrain vehicle driven by a soccer-jersey-clad Stewart represents the fulfillment of some bizarre fantasy.