Matt Damon and Bryan Cranston are both reportedly in talks to star in Zhang Yimou’s The Great Wall—a film that is not, but maybe should be an animated musical about Blocky the Brick and his indentured-laborer pals. Instead, the movie is about a group of 15th-century British warriors who stumble upon incomplete sections of the Great Wall and try to figure out what they are, (possibly by dunking an elderly woman in a pond). Eventually the warriors discover that the wall-like structures are pieces of a wall— a wall that not only protects against human enemies, but also keeps supernatural threats at bay, threats that may or may not have something to do with zombies. All this is a complicated way of explaining why two Caucasian actors might be starring in a movie set in medieval China, besides the fact that Keanu Reeves wasn’t available.
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