Apparently Maxim–you may know it as that magazine with lots of boobs, but no nipples–doesn't have the strict editorial rules that many other upstanding publications do: The magazine reviewed the upcoming Black Crowes record after hearing just one song. The band, understandably, was a little pissed, and issued this angry statement about it.
As an exercise, I am going to write a review of the record without even hearing one song, and I'm going to do it in five minutes. Here goes:
The Black Crowes
Warpaint
(Silver Arrow)
The Black Crowes have always been essentially a cover band, but one that recreates an era rather than simply recreating that era's songs. Time-warping white guys with a propensity for pot smoking and bell bottoms, they naturally found a willing audience for which to boogie-woogie. Warpaint, the band's first album in seven years, offers more of the same ear- and hip-friendly nonsense that the children of hippies will eat up, provided they haven't moved onto Dave Matthews permanently. It's not half-bad, which also means it's barely half good–totally listenable, but ultimately forgettable. Power-ballad "Evergreen" ("You see what I mean / Take one for the team / Evergreen") could be the song that gets the Crowes back on the radio, though, and if they can find a hit there, then shimmy-shakers like "Movin' On Down The Line" and "Whoa Mule" could follow suit. "Locust Street," with is massively catchy refrain ("That's where I found the beat / Locust Street") could play anywhere from stadiums to dingy bars–and it's tough to say where Black Crowes belong at this point. Grade: C.
That was sort of fun. Have a good weekend, and please remember: Friends don't let friends review records without listening to them.