Kanye West is no stranger to controversial art, whether he’s draping nude celebrity stand-ins over each other in an attempt to say something, anything about being famous, or just struggling to accurately represent the greatness of his musical achievements. But the Life Of Pablo rapper probably wasn’t expecting to stir up much trouble by publishing a nonsensical ode to McDonald’s French fries in Frank Ocean’s Boys Don’t Cry zine/opus (that thing’s 360 pages long). And yet, McDonald’s has taken exception with West’s characterization of its potato offerings, according to The Wrap. Here’s the opening stanza:
McDonalds Man McDonalds Man
The french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
The salad bar and the ketchup made a band
Cus the french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
West’s poem features anthropomorphized food, including some scheming French fries. Did the fast-food giant fear that its plans for world domination would be revealed in West’s rambling riff, which goes so far as to describe the Golden Arches’ fries as “evil”? He is, after all, immune to their allure: “I don’t trust no food that smells that good, man.” So if there’s some kind of mass brainwashing going on, West is in a great position to lead an uprising, along with the heroes of his poem, the salad bar and ketchup. (Et tu, Heinz?)
But West’s resolve crumbles before the last stanza. He admits the fries “look good tho,” and that all the other menu items are harboring jealousy towards the ever-popular side order. With the revolution or counterrevolution now subdued, McDonald’s had nothing to worry about. Except that the global restaurant chain was offended by West’s reference to the “artificial meat eyes” of its McRib sandwiches. So the McNugget-slinging corporation issued this rejoinder to refute West’s implication that anything other than beef is used in its burgers.
McDonald’s response is odd, and not just because it’s taken umbrage with something West probably wrote between rest stops one day. But he was clearly talking about the McRib sandwich, which is served intermittently by the company. The fast-food chain emphasizes that the beef in its burgers is “100% real,” but the McRib is purportedly made of pork, so McDonald’s is just skirting the issue. West hasn’t fired back yet, and may never think he has to, since his musings about fries have probably been replaced with thoughts of T-shirts. So we might have to wait for some other performer to take up this McRib investigation.