Some movies demand flow
charts. Are you under the age of 11 and instantly amused by the notion of a
spaceship that looks like Eddie Murphy, captained by a tiny Eddie Murphy and a
crew of Spandex-clad explorers? If you answered "yes," proceed to Meet Dave. (And if you're amused by
the notion of a character called "Lieutenant Buttocks," don't waste any time
reading the rest of this review.) If you answered "no," you're likely to spend
much of the film silently asking questions. Why, for instance, would humanoid
aliens whose culture has so much in common with Earth's spend so much time baffled
by what they encounter? Members of Murphy's miniscule crew smile at each other,
but seem baffled when humans bare their teeth to greet the giant, Murphy-shaped
ship.
You know what would put
questions like that to rest? Laughs. Sadly, they're in short supply in this
beyond-mild comedy, in which Murphy-the-ship awkwardly learns the ways of Earth
while searching for a glowing orb that will drain the Earth of its water
supply. (This includes a long sequence paying special attention to a popular
budget-clothing store whose name he repeats with Rain Man-like persistence.) Along
the way, Murphy-the-ship befriends a little boy (Austin Myers) and his widowed
mother (Elizabeth Banks), causing Murphy-the-space-captain to consider the
consequences of his water-plundering scheme. And what role does Lieutenant
Buttocks play? Well, who else is equipped to help Murphy-the-ship after he
consumes dozens of hot dogs? Those giant prop hot dogs aren't going to void
themselves.
Proven comic talents like
Judah Friedlander and Ed Helms make up much of Murphy's crew, but apart from
speaking in contraction-free spaceman-ese, the film doesn't give them anything
funny to do. Murphy's performance is little more than an unblinking variation
on his Coming To America stranger-in-a-strange-land shtick crossed with gags left over
from the late, unlamented '90s sitcom Herman's Head. Here a sample: Banks
offers Murphy-the-ship some meat loaf. Cut to Murphy-the-captain being confused
when shown footage of the singer Meat Loaf. It's comedy that doesn't ask
anyone, onscreen or in the audience, to try too hard.