Bringing together the Wu-Tang Clan and the over-60 demographic in a way that does not involve duets with Cher, Method Man is set to guest star on CBS’s Blue Bloods in the upcoming two-part season finale. According to TV Line, the rapper (real name M-E-T-H-O-D Man) will add to a growing TV acting resume that includes The Wire, CSI, and Burn Notice, playing “a major badass with the Warrior Kings street gang” who enters the 36 chambers of Tom Selleck when he’s hauled in for suspicion of murder. The detectives will investigate charges that Method Man fucking tied his victim to a bedpost with their ass cheeks spread out and shit, put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there for like half an hour, took it off and stuck it in slow, like, “Tsssssss.”
The episode concludes with a shocking, emotional scene where Method Man sews Donnie Wahlberg’s asshole closed, and keeps feeding him and feeding him and feeding him.