Michael Bay To Transformers Nerds: See You In Hell, Suckers

Tired of listening to Transformers fanatics whine on about the various ways that Transformers took advantage of their childhoods, not to mention the way that they stormed theaters and bought ticket after ticket to his movie, Transformers director Michael Bay says that for Transformers 2, the fans won't know exactly how their childhoods are going to be violently assaulted or subject to mild sexual harrassment until the movie comes out. Why? An incredibly well-thought-out misinformation strategy:

From Rotten Tomatoes:

"One thing I do know is I know how to screw them up more," said Bay. "We're going to leak a lot of false information all over the place. I now know their game. They're going to get a lot of script treatments that they think are going to be the script. They will never see the script. We've got scripts and treatments written up that we're going to leak. No one's going to know."

Scoopers who currently think they're sitting on a hot one, here's a head's up. "There's one out that's fake right now. There are going to be many others."

So you mean the one I saw that said Megan Fox eloped with a totally sexy Autobot with a teal chassis is wrong?

There are several things that you have to believe in order for this statement to be true–that Bay "knows your game," that he is capable of screwing with your mind in ways that don't involve CGI or loud explosions–but the biggest is that people would actually care about reading a Michael Bay script. I mean, people go to Michael Bay movies for the 'splosions, not the story, right? Or is Transformers 2 going to go beyond the basic good vehicle-bots battle bad vehicle-bots for a magical square plot?

How much could you really learn from the Transformers 2 script besides corny jokes, what band t-shirt will complete Shia LeBoeuf's hipster costume this time, and "Robots fight [insert fight sequence, punctuated by loud sound of twisting metal]"?

 
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