Michael Keaton—a few days after leaving a fancy party where he was given an award and talked about how much he loves his son—is reportedly about to make the same decision any of us would make in the same situation: He’s gonna get some McDonald’s and just relax at home. Or, more accurately, he’s gonna star in a movie about McDonald’s. That’s according to The Hollywood Reporter, which says Keaton is “in talks” to join The Founder, John Lee Hancock’s movie about a pair of California brothers and the Illinois businessman who stole their revolutionary fast food restaurant.
If he does take the role, Keaton will be playing Ray Kroc, the aforementioned Illinois businessman. While not an actual founder of McDonald’s, Kroc is the guy who made it what it is today by teaming up with Dick and Mac McDonald to develop franchises of their burger shop. The other locations ended up becoming so popular that Kroc was able to buy out the brothers and force them out of the company they founded, paving the way for all of the stupid bullshit that McDonald’s does these days to separate people from their money. As we reported last time we talked about this, the script is apparently “akin to The Social Network and There Will Be Blood,” which doesn’t sound any less insane than it did the first time.
The Social Network and There Will Be Blood didn’t have Michael Keaton, though, so The Founder already has a good shot at being even better than both of them—even if it’s about McDonald’s and it’s directed by the guy who made The Blind Side. Keaton is also in talks to join the King Kong prequel, which means that movie will also be better than The Social Network and There Will Be Blood. This is all based on a new rule of film criticism that we’re calling “Keaton’s Law,” which says that anything involving Michael Keaton is automatically better than anything that doesn’t involve Michael Keaton.