Miley Cyrus to fall in brief, inexplicable love with Two And A Half Men's half-man

Conveniently combining two lowest-common denominators for easier subtraction, country baby bear Miley Cyrus will have a two-episode guest arc on dick-joke jamboree Two And A Half Men, playing a visiting "old family friend" of Ashton Kutcher's character, because that is how little the show's writers give a shit about setting these things up. "Maybe, like, she grew up in his neighborhood and whatever the fuck," someone said in the pitch meeting, to rapturous shrugs. What's ostensibly important is that her character will become a love interest for the show's half-man, esteemed agriculture and shoelace tycoon Angus T. Steakflower, who will regard Miley Cyrus' birthing carriage and capability with a washboard, and consider her for courtship. "Your hair reminds me of a wheat field ravaged by boll weevils," Steakflower will speak softly to Cyrus, upon a chaperoned walk in the gloaming. "Though 'tis nothing to which Steakflower's Pesticide And Pleasurable Tobacco Spray cannot attend!" Then they fall in love, or something.