Miley Cyrus to play "tough, street-smart private eye" in actual movie, which will be in theaters and everything

Living emoticon Miley Cyrus will star as a “tough, street-smart private eye,” the role that she was born to watch someone play in a Saturday Night Live skit, but which actually exists as an actual movie called So Undercover. It’s like regular undercover, but even more so. In the film, which we pause here to remind you is real, Cyrus’ “tough, street-smart private eye”—who’s been honing her smarts on the streets, as a person who investigates things and then makes deductions and then acts accordingly toughly to resolve said investigations, and again we’re discussing a Miley Cyrus character here—will be hired by the FBI to infiltrate a college sorority, because this is the sort of thing the FBI does on a regular basis. Hires young, street-smart private eyes to pretend to be sorority girls so that it can gather information. Information that can only be gleaned by putting an undercover private eye in a college sorority.

The film will be scripted by Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps writers Allan Loeb and The Switch’s Steven Pearl and directed by What Happens In Vegas’ Tom Vaughan, who are all grown men working in the film industry, with millions of dollars at their disposal. It will then be released to actual theaters, whereupon people can actually say to each other, "Hey, do you want to go see that movie where Miley Cyrus plays a tough, street-smart private eye?" And then the other person will say, "Of course I do, that movie sounds cute." Then they'll get into their cars, drive to said theater, and pay actual U.S. currency for the privilege. These things actually happen.