One old gambling tip says the sure way to win is to bet against the guy who keeps losing. That approach might work in Hollywood, as well: A sure way to avoid at least some terrible movies is to stay away from those starring Casper Van Dien. The inexpressive, blandly good-looking actor first won notice in Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, a film that turned his debits into assets. But since then, aside from a supporting role in Sleepy Hollow, it's been all downhill, from his laughable attempt to play James Dean in James Dean: Live Fast, Die Young (arguably the most unintentionally hilarious biopic since Mommie Dearest) to the inexplicable Tarzan And The Lost City to The Omega C(omega)de, an evangelical apocalyptic thriller that's one of the worst films of the year. That losing streak doesn't change with the direct-to-video horror comedy Modern Vampires, though it seems promising on paper. Writer Matthew Bright (Freeway) and director Richard Elfman (brother of Danny) previously collaborated on 1980's The Forbidden Zone, a bizarre live-action homage to the cartoons of the Fleischer Brothers that included, among other bizarre moments, a scene involving a seductive Hervé Villechaize. The long-out-of-print Forbidden Zone could benefit from a video reissue, but Bright and Elfman's latest collaboration never should have seen the light of day. Van Dien stars as a vampire in modern L.A. (hence the title) who goes against the mores of vampire society by befriending a streetwalking vampire (Natasha Gregson Wagner) in danger of exposing vampires' existence to the rest of the world. Further complicating matters is the arrival of famed vampire slayer Professor Van Helsing (played hammily by the increasingly embarrassing Rod Steiger) who enlists the aid of a handful of Crips in his effort. There's a funny movie to be extracted from this somewhere, particularly when Modern Vampires threatens to turn into a bloodsucking parody of Pretty Woman. But to find it you'll have to look hard beneath misfired gags and inappropriately generous gore. Hardcore Robert Pastorelli fans should give it a look (he plays Dracula), as well as those following the career of Natasha Lyonne, who really should apply the Van Dien Principle when choosing her roles. But masochists seeking the definitive Casper Van Dien film should probably hold out for the even less promising-looking Shark Attack, on shelves now.