xXx: Return Of Xander Cage certainly tries to be relevant, whether it’s by shoehorning in Coachella references or by answering the question, “Can you surf on a motorcycle?” (Answer: If your name is Vin Diesel or Donnie Yen, then yes, you can.) But, as it turns out, the significance of this particular Vin Diesel franchise is much bigger than we could have ever imagined. Yes, much like gravity, or the earth’s orbit around the sun, or the ceaseless forward march of time itself, the xXx franchise is an immutable force of nature. Another film in the series is inevitable, and all we can do is prepare for it the best we can.
Diesel said as much in a red-carpet interview with Access Hollywood at the premiere of the film, where he waxed philosophical with correspondent Alex Hudgens. “Some things are inevitable, right?,” Diesel opines, adding that “once you see the movie, it’s pretty obvious where we’re going to go in the next one.” He goes on to talk about his nearly 2-year-old daughter’s favorite car (the ‘69 Dodge Daytona), but that’s not nearly as profound. So take heart, citizens of Earth: In these uncertain times, full of fear and obfuscation, at least we’ve got Vin Diesel to cling to.