Relegating the failed husk of democracy back to its proper position in society—letting people pick which random assortment of objects will sit, ignored, while they scream at their brother for screwing them out of Park Place for the billionth time—Hasbro has announced that it’s opening up voting on the next generation of Monopoly pieces to the people. The options on the ballot include the original eight tokens—including Hazel the cat, who replaced the iron by popular fiat back in 2013—and a host of new, 2017-ready options. Which is to say, a dinosaur, some flip-flops, and a whole heaping bunch of emojis.
Fans are free to pick any eight of the pieces on offer, allowing die-hard conservatives to vote a straight ticket of the old original tokens. Or they can pick and choose, sprinkling a solid gold hashtag here, a loaf of sliced bread there, and round the whole thing out with a gaudy gilded monster truck. Voting runs until January 30, with the results announced on World Monopoly Day, March 19. Hasbro will start including the newly selected pieces in Monopoly sets in August, while fans can get a sneak peek at some of the new tokens by purchasing a copy of the game’s “Token Madness” edition—which includes an admittedly pretty cute-looking rubber duck—in stores now.
Just remember: Whichever pieces you select are inevitably going to end up jammed in your foot during some bleary-eyed 3:00 a.m. bathroom run, so choose wisely, for once.
[via The Daily Dot and Business Wire]