Natalie Portman Stars In The Love Guru 2: Devendra Banhart

Natalie Portman Stars In The Love Guru 2: Devendra Banhart

As outlined expertly by Mike Myers, the reasons that Bollywood movies are hilarious are as follows:

1. They're from India, a place where they don't even speak real English. So funny.

2. They totally don't make any sense (probably has something to do with the whole not-in-English thing).

3. They're, like, all Indian and stuff.

4. Um, can you say "Poor production values"? I'm supposed to believe that extra covered in greasepaint is a monster or a god or whatever? Ha. Nice try, India!

5. The subtitles are always super-ridiculous. It's almost as if they were written by people who don't speak English very well, or something.

6. Two words: Dance numbers. Seriously, watch people from another culture dance sometime. It's always hilarious, mostly because their weirdo culture is different from your normal one.

Naturally, all of the above make the idea of a music video done in a Bollywood style almost irresistible to shaggy-haired, impeccably weird, overly-stylized musician types. Good thing no one makes music videos anymore, right? Oh. Damn.

Well, at least Urban Outfitters will have a new song to play on loop at all of their locations now, because that's exactly what this song sounds like: background music for a retail chain that specializes in faux-vintage t-shirts.

I blame Natalie Portman. If she hadn't decided to start dating Devendra Banhart, and agreed to star in his hilariously xenophobic Bollywood droning party music video, then it would have sunk back down into the ear sludge and matted beard whence it came with hardly any notice. Perhaps it would have never existed at all. But because Natalie Portman decided to anoint Banhart with a touch of her fame, this video is everywhere, and I am considering applying leeches to my eyes and ears in the hope that they can suck out all traces of this Morgellons-level-irritating video from my sensory receptors.

 
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