NBC buys Cleopatra TV series in fit of nihilistic pique

As part of its ongoing fascination with historical dramas and hubristic disasters, NBC has ordered a series based on the legendary Egyptian queen of Cleopatra, whose story was most famously told as the 1963 movie version that nearly bankrupted 20th Century Fox. “Woohoo, let’s get us some of that! All in!” NBC president Bob Greenblatt shouted from his office that is constantly on fire, with Greenblatt giggling nihilistically as he wrote a check to outbid all other networks and purchase the costly period piece from ABC Studios and producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura—a project in which North Country writer Michael Seitzman will pen an “epic romance” that includes sorcery, gods, and monsters, and other things that don’t necessarily translate to broadcast television on a weekly basis. Naturally, the show is also a romance revolving around Cleopatra’s history-shaping dalliances with Mark Antony and Julius Caesar, albeit without the violence and partial nudity that has made such a thing so palatable on cable. “Woooo!” Greenblatt added, to stave off the unforgiving silence.

 
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