Apparently not content with the cheeky British exorcist it’s already got on its docket, NBC is developing another exorcism drama from Amblin Entertainment and writer John Glenn (no relation to the astronaut). Called The Possession Of Maggie Gill, the series will explore the connection between a string of serial murders and a 15-year-old girl with a demon in her, presumably earning some kind of volume discount on opaque contacts and white cotton nightgowns in the process.
The announcement comes as TV executives are seized—dare we say, possessed—with exorcism fever, their fragile young bodies twisted in unearthly positions as they speak in esoteric languages only the most learned scholars can understand. “Give Robert Kirkman an exorcism show,” they croak, their voices rendered guttural yet strangely shrill by the ancient entities possessing them. “Go ahead and greenlight an Exorcist series, why not,” they add, black bile beginning to stream from the corner of each horrifically twisted mouth. “Somebody give Eli Roth a show where Jesus is an exorcist,” they scream, the slow trickle of viscous fluid escalating into a gushing fountain of unholy bodily fluids.
And then, NBC’s Ten Commandments drama bursts through the door, brandishing a crucifix—even though that doesn’t really make sense for a show based on the Old Testament. “Take me!” it cries, desperately flinging holy water on the creatures. “Take me and go back to basic cable where you belong!” A depraved glimmer flashes across the executives’ bloodshot eyes. With a bone-chilling shriek they rise into the air en masse, before their crumpled, sweat-soaked bodies fall to the floor with a sickening thud. One executive starts crying, softly. All that remains of The Ten Commandments is a charred outline on the wall.