Network television wants you to question your own mortality
Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, April 6. All times are Eastern.
Top picks
Heartbeat (NBC, 8 p.m.): Your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor’s second favorite show, Heartbeat, has decided to get really intense, with “100,000 Heartbeats.” Heartbeat, you crazy for this one. That’s 99,999 more heartbeats than usual! “Alex and Pierce disagree on whether an experimental treatment for those with advanced stage cancer is right for the hospital’s patients. True to form, Alex takes matters into her own hands with a risky move to find volunteers.” It’s only the fourth episode, but the synopses already know what’s up. We love it. We love you, Heartbeat. We’ll even forgive you if you don’t play Jose Gonzalez during the episode. Because we love you.
Empire (Fox, 9 p.m.): Tonight, Empire is giving us all “A Rose By Any Other Name.” (You know, if Lucious Lyon ever yelled that “His father’s the district attorney!” maybe we’d actually get on board with the character.) “With Hakeem acting as Empire’s CEO, Camilla sinks her claws further and further into him.” This is why we all laugh at you, Hakeem! Also because of “Drip Drop,” but it’s this especially! Joshua Alston doesn’t really have the luxury of laughing during his weekly Empire reviews, but just know that we’re laughing on your behalf, buddy. Also know this:
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): While Heartbeat is all about cancer and Empire is all about the cancer of terrible business practices, Black-ish… Well, it isn’t about cancer. But it is about death. “When Dre and Bow realize they don’t have a legal guardian for their kids, they make it their mission to find replacement parents should anything happen to them. Meanwhile, Zoey and Junior reveal the truth to Jack about their old dog’s death and other family secrets he naively accepted.” And the episode title? “The Leftovers.” Ah, they love to have fun, TV Club! By the way, LaToya Ferguson’s prayers to black Jesus (and Black Jesus) have been answered, because John Witherspoon makes his return as James Brown, the Johnson family accountant.
Premieres and finales
Young & Hungry (Freeform, 8 p.m.): Young & Hungry goes out for its third season spring finale with another maddening episode title, “Young & No More Therapy.” Let’s dispel with this fiction that Young & Hungry doesn’t know what it’s doing. It knows exactly what it’s doing. It’s picking a fight with your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor. Anyway: “A breakthrough with his therapist makes Josh consider ending his sessions, but is that just the commitment issues talking?” Does “a breakthrough” mean sex? Because then yeah, he should definitely end sessions. That’s totally inappropriate, and this isn’t Lucifer (your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor’s favorite show). Meanwhile, “the ‘will they/won’t they’ has Gabi reexamining what she really wants,” just like in every other episode of Young & Hungry. Only this is the finale!
Baby Daddy (Freeform, 8:30 p.m.): And then Baby Daddy has its fifth season spring finale, “Homecoming And Going,” which makes only slightly more sense than the Young & Hungry episode title. “Sam invites Ben, Riley, and Danny to the Hamptons for the weekend, leaving Ben confused as to whether he wants to be with Sam or Zoey.” Ben should be left alone forever to focus on his child. Boom, solved the problem. 30 minutes? Not on our watch.
Wahlburgers (A&E, 9 p.m.): The fourth season finale of Emmy-nominated series Wahlburgers is titled “The Fenway Way Back,” which could mean that Nat Faxon and Jim Rash have something to do with it, but we’re not going to make any promises.
The Real Housewives Of New York City (Bravo, 9 p.m.): Time for the eighth season of New York housewifery. You know what? What if this one season just decided to be all about home-making and PTA meetings? Would Danielle Schneider and Casey Wilson have enough material for the Bitch Sesh podcast? These are the questions you have to ask.
Hap And Leonard (Sundance, 10 p.m.): The first season finale of Hap And Leonard is here, with “Eskimos.” (And if that title immediately brought your mind to The League, we’re sorry and we hope you get the help that you need.) “Hap and Leonard must fend for themselves; Trudy makes a confession to Hap; Hap makes a discovery.” And as for Brandon Nowalk? Brandon reviews an episode.
Regular coverage
The Path (Hulu, midnight)
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.)
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.)
Broad City (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.)
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.)
Streaming pick
Dead Like Me, “Pilot” (Hulu): Still worrying about the meaning of life and how fleeting existence is, but network television just isn’t enough? Then you can’t go wrong with Bryan Fuller’s Dead Like Me. It’s either that or that time Vince McMahon’s limo blew up: