New law finally frees actors from the tyranny of aging

People tend to get older as time passes, and it’s generally not all that bad. As you get older, you learn how to talk, how to walk, and how to drive a car, and eventually you might even get to the point where no longer have to care about anything beyond who is currently on your lawn. In Hollywood, though, aging is a little different. Being too young or too old can significantly impact your career, since there are very few prominent superhero roles (or just roles in general) for people who are outside of a certain age range. In fact, a woman sued IMDB a few years ago for revealing that she was actually older than she looked, believing (probably correctly) that it would put her career in jeopardy.

Now, though, actors and actresses no longer need to worry about people knowing how old they are, because California has passed a law requiring sites like IMDB to remove someone’s age or birthday from its database upon request. That means famous people can now remain young and beautiful forever, playing whichever prominent superhero roles they desire for eternity while us normals gradually move underground and evolve into Morlocks—paving the way for the eventual war between us monsters and the small, weak Eloi who frolic about on the surface world making their silly “movies” and “TV shows.”

Anyway, this all comes from The Hollywood Reporter, which says the law will go into effect on January 1 and that it will apply to everybody who works in the entertainment industry, not just actors. Naturally, though, free speech advocates aren’t happy about this, with the Internet Association’s Michael Beckerman saying that websites have a right “to present basic facts that live in the public domain.” He also adds that the information itself isn’t discrimination and that these internet companies “should not be punished for how people use public data.” In other words, it’s not IMDB’s fault when an executive or casting director refuses to hire somebody based on their age.

It’s unclear if the Constitutionality of this law is going to be challenged, but for now, you might want to start cataloging your favorite actors’ ages and birthdays while you can.

 
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